MessyAI™ Privacy Policy
Last Updated
When We Last Changed Our Safe Word (2024)
1. Introduction (The Safe Word is "Privacy")
Welcome to the MessyAI™ Privacy Policy, where we spill the tea on how we handle your data like a professional dom handles their subjects - with care, respect, and just enough restraint to keep it legal.
2. Data Collection (We're Nosier Than Your Ex's New Boyfriend)
2.1 Personal Information We Collect
Like a power bottom collecting daddy issues, we gather:
- Basic Info (name, email, the lies you tell on dating apps)
- Profile Data (including those pics you think you deleted)
- Usage Data (every thirsty message you've ever drafted)
- Location Data (we know about that "networking event" at the bathhouse)
- Behavioral Data (your typing patterns and how long you stare at shirtless pics)
- Emotional Baggage (we can't help it, you overshare)
2.2 Automatically Collected Information
Our system automatically collects:
- Device Information (yes, we know you're using your work phone)
- IP Address (we see you browsing from the gym sauna)
- Browser History (judgmentally noting your incognito mode usage)
- Cookie Data (tastier than your last hookup's attempt at dinner)
3. How We Use Your Data (Like a Gossip Queen but with Ethics)
We use your information for:
- Service Improvement (making our sass even sassier)
- Personalization (knowing exactly when to call you out)
- Analytics (studying the science of your poor choices)
- Marketing (sliding into your DMs like that guy you're trying to forget)
- Legal Compliance (keeping our ass covered better than a jockstrap)
4. Data Sharing (Who We Spill the Tea To)
4.1 Third-Party Services
We share your data with:
- Cloud Services (they're like our digital sugar daddies)
- Analytics Partners (they help us judge you more efficiently)
- Legal Authorities (if you make us, but we're not narcs)
- Your Therapist (just kidding, but maybe we should)
4.2 International Transfer
Your data travels more than your Instagram followers think you do. We may transfer your information to servers located wherever the rent is cheaper, including:
- The EU (they're kinky but professional)
- The US (land of the free, home of the data breach)
- Canada (sorry about that, eh)
5. Your Rights (Yes, You Actually Have Some)
Under GDPR, CCPA, and our "No Tea Left Behind" policy, you have:
- The Right to Access (stalk your own data)
- The Right to Rectification (fix those embarrassing typos)
- The Right to Erasure (delete it like your ex's number)
- The Right to Object (say "no" like you should have to that ex)
- The Right to Data Portability (take your baggage elsewhere)
6. Data Security (Locked Down Tighter Than a Virgin at a Sex Party)
We protect your data using:
- Enterprise-grade encryption (fancier than your dating profile)
- Firewalls (thicker than your favorite Instagram thirst trap)
- Access Controls (stricter than your friend's "no dating my ex" policy)
- Regular Security Audits (more frequent than your STI tests, we hope)
7-11. Additional Information
Contact Us (Slide Into Our DMs)
For privacy-related questions:
- Email: privacy@messy.ai
- Email: privacy@messy.ai
- Smoke Signals: Only on clear days
- Carrier Pigeon: Must be vaccinated
- Telepathy: Currently in beta testing
- Grindr: Nice try, but no